Thursday, August 24, 2006
Work it out!
Since the FF7 somehow keeps building upon a single recurring theme (and that theme is motherfucking BEYONCÉ), I'd like to take this opportunity to expound upon something I mentioned that pertains to her a while back .


I've never seen the Austin Powers Goldmember movie. I think I've picked up bits and pieces over the years, but I've never just sat down and watched it from start to finish. But a single from our beloved Beyoncé was dropped thanks to that flick, and it was titled "Work it Out". And it was ok... er... good, even. An interesting (and movie appropriate, I assume!) sounding tune, the thin funky (somewhat annoyingly flat) beat and fake horns bump and grind against eachother whilst Beyoncé sings sweetly and slowly about being lonely and horny until she gets the opportunity to tackle and bump and grind against her mans. She doesn't really exercise her vocal capabilities too much here; on (rare) occassion, she lets herself go-- her passionate throaty screaming penetrates the empty void that the minimal beats create, and, well, ends up way overpowering the whole joint and sounds pretty out of place. But despite, who DOESN'T want to hear a song by Beyoncé where she sings and screams about sexxin'? NOBODY.

Beyoncé - Work It Out






Then, there is Speedometer.

Speedometer is pretty much the UK's answer to Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings-- just slightly older and whiter, and, well, European. If you don't know what that comparison means, just think funky horns, guitars, sassy soul-queenesque vocals, and drum breaks that make you want to dance until your heels dig themselves inches into the ground below you. THAT-- is Speedometer. Speedometer has made their mark on the neo-funk scene by touring constantly for the bulk of the 21st century. One day I guess they decided that it would be fun, or hilariously kitschy even(?), to cover this Beyoncé song and play it at their shows. And I'm not sure if it's just the overall nature of the beast (i.e. THA FUNK), or if these guys are just THAT DAMN GOOD, but I would take this cover of Beyoncé's song ANY DAY over the original. They sped the song up a good bit, added rip-roaring horns and some funkyfunky rhythms and beats. And the SINGER! Ria Currie! That girl can FUCKING SING. She's dynamic! Sultry! And in control! I *dare* say, that in this case, given the nature of the song, etc, she pulls off a MUCH better vocal performance than our dear Beyoncé. Blasphemous, I know. BUT... Check it out.

Speedometer - Work It Out





So. The real question here is... if Beyoncé had had a proper musical backing for her vocals, meaning she had the opportunity to sing along to a rip roaring funk burner instead of a... uh... laid back faux-porn soundtrack... Would the end result have been any better?

Someone, thankfully, has already had the balls to answer that for us...



And the answer is... no! Beyoncé sounds like a chipmunk when she sings over tha funk!

And for posterity's sake:


Posted by Lady K! : on Thursday, August 24, 2006 at 6:25 AM |

That gator pic pretty much made my night.

I'm on the floor like HOLY SHIT.

And I'll stop quoting Fishscale at some point.

I promise.

More Beyonce with gators, please.

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The FunkyFunky 7 Are:
A group of kids with WAY too much time on their hands.
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