Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Chocolate All Up In Yo Peanut Butter

Our feared & revered leader recently made her opinions clear on the new records by one Justin Timberlake and one Beyonce Knowles. Notwithstanding the fact that I am an insider because my first psuedo-girlfriend had the surname Knowles (OK, not in any way related, buuuut), I agree with much of what she said. JT's record is a bit long for me, and it has that queasy virtue/vice of running with the same handful of synth sounds throughout, but it's clearly the better of the two albums. That being said, what would happen if we made... one great album out of two so-so ones? What would happen if we alternated nothing but the best tracks from both records to make one hot-as-a-grill (and I ain't talkin' bout Paul Wall) summer R&Bpop LP... Hmm...

Perhaps it would be like this :

JuBeTi - Future Beyonce Love Day

(Motown afficionados will note the oh-so-clever reference)


1. Justin Timberlake - FutureSex/LoveSounds
2. Beyonce - Deja Vu (ft. Jay-Z)
3. Justin Timberlake - Damn Girl (ft. Will.I.Am)
4. Beyonce - Upgrade U (ft. Jay-Z)
5. Justin Timberlake - Sexy Ladies
6. Beyonce - Ring the Alarm
7. Justin Timberlake - SexyBack (ft. Timbaland)
8. Beyonce - Get Me Bodied (Remix)
9. Justin Timberlake - LoveStoned/I Think She Knows

Purists will note that the 5th track is a splice of the 3rd track from JT's album, with the unnecessary slow shit hacked off. Also, the 8th track is the more-unhinged version found in the "bonus" section of B'Day, freed from the obnoxious bullshit that surrounds it.

Posted by Mallory on Wednesday, August 30, 2006 at 6:53 PM |

I'm cosigning with this Mal.

a) I love that I am "feared" now in addition to being "revered" AND a "leader".

b) My initial response to the JT record I think was more of a total knee jerk reaction to the fact that it didn't actually suck... for the most part. I skip almost half of the tracks when i listen to it these days.

c) i'm downloading this now. it looks hot. and get me bodied is pretty much better than anything else on that album. *especially* in it's extended remix form.

I'm aggrieved that you didn't include Beyonce's "Suga Baby," which is even better than "1 Thing."

And WHAT were you thinking in omitting JT's Snoop collaboration "Pose"???!! It sounds like Prince's "Lady Cabdriver"!

Mal, why is there no "Chop Me Up?" JT + 3 6 = hot shit. You do the math.

Surely you mean, "Suga Mama?" The one where she talks about being a "waffle cone, dripping down to the floor?" I love that song, and "Pose," both of which were in the pool, but I went for brevity and maximum heat. There's probably a more perfect re-fit that could have been done by someone with slightly less alchohol in their bloodstream, but I did what I did and I'm not putting the cookie jar back.

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The FunkyFunky 7 Are:
A group of kids with WAY too much time on their hands.